Happiness is indeed an emotion humans need and tiresome times. So is the need for happy parenting which seems a missing quality from today’s world.
- Many experts believe that modern trends have to give a kind of restlessness to parents where they seem frustrated and panicked.
- Happy parenting is not just a parenting perspective but it’s rather a way of life ensuring the happiness and emotional well-being of both parents and children.
- Parents need to understand that children do have some choices and opinions of their own. Mutual respect and gratefulness is the ultimate key to success.
- Being a parent doesn’t mean ignoring your own self for the cause of your children. As a normal human being, giving time to your personal choices will also help you a lot in lifting the burden of parenthood from your head.
Human beings have become so selfish these days that it seems more like a dream when we find kindness around us. Greed and materialism have given a severe depression to humanity where people have lost the essence of searching for happiness in life. They are rather becoming machines devoid of emotions serving hard to be accepted by society just to be coming up to the social standards today.
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This has impacted parenting as well. Parents are no longer working to make their children amazing human beings but are turning to train their children into humans which can later on the turn as the next generation of machines striving harder than their parents to become a part of the modern world.
Are we really happy today?
It is in human nature that emotions run most of our lives. We become successful because of the internal need for validation and self-sufficiency. Routines are stiff and hours are long where humans work for minimal wages just because they want to keep things “normal”. Many social scientists raise a clear objection to the progress of the world that due to all the scientific inventions and latest technology, the real notion of happiness is dissolving in the background.
They are more content on attaining superficial standards of happiness where they can easily fit in. If today, we look at the socialist media handles of many celebrities and influencers, we will definitely find them hanging out and enjoying the moments of their life, but is that the real kind of happiness? Are they really happy? The answer is simple. No, they aren’t. They are just trying to fit in the social standards of happiness by “claiming” happiness.
What is happiness?
Well, true happiness comes from the inside. You must have heard this quote a number of times and now in the modern world, the need for saying it out loud becomes harder. Happiness is all about being content and not complaining about whatever one has achieved in life. It is about choosing the right kind of choices and not straying away just because of social pressure. Unfortunately, this is severely affecting the norms on which parents bring up their children.
Why are parents not happy today?
A number of parents are complaining about the lifestyle wanted by their children which they believe is unsuitable for him/her. The tussle between the principles of parents and children always creates a mess where parents end up getting hurt in the end. Probably, this is the very reason that today the ridiculously unsuitable norm of punishment and rewards is seen highly popular among parents where parents want to give a little “sense” to their children about life by bringing them up the way they want.
This is why most often difference of opinion raises a big barrier between both and hence we find relationships breaking apart. Parents today are not happy because they want to bring up their children on the pattern they have decided but children just like any other human being do have their own hopes, expectations, and choices in life. A large number of parents today are experiencing depression and anxiety when it comes to thinking about the future of their children and their differences with their children with regard to that.
What is happy parenting?
So, in the midst of trying to be exceptionally amazing parents and bringing up children on the perfect principles of social significance, the concept of happy parenting gained immense popularity.
This is because the concept focuses not only upon the happiness of children but it also involves the lives of children and tends to make them better so that the list of regrets parents usually have at the end of their life diminishes properly. It talks about free choices and giving importance to personal happiness rather than whatever the society has implemented upon an individual which makes it more special.
10 Tips for happy parenting
So, if you are a parent who wants to get relaxed about parenting, there are no hard and fast rules but just some minor principles that can be easily incorporated. Let’s have a look at them.
- Be gentle and flexible
- Focus on yourselves too
- Prepare a routine with family
- Don’t be ashamed to accept your mistakes
- Be grateful for whatever you have
- Respect your children’s decisions
Gentleness & Flexibility
Parenting is hard and there is no denial in this fact but taking enormous pressure is not the right kind of behavior. You can make parenting fun by staying calm. I have observed that many parents get tired of their parenting responsibilities sooner than later and this adds frustration to their behavior.
You might not be realizing this in the beginning, but children take a lot of impact from whatever you do. They judge your behavior in their minds and learn traits from you throughout their journey. This is why it is important to be gentle to them. Gentleness is a quality that needs to be there in parents because this one quality can make both parents and children happy. You need to be gentle with your children about their behavior and mistakes.
Many parents have this habit where they quickly start rebuking and punishing their children over little things. They are the ones who never care about the emotional impact of whatever they are doing. This hurts children a lot. In association with that, it is very important for you as parents to adopt a little bit of flexibility in your behavior.
Even researchers claim that parents who are lenient and love treating their children kindly are the ones who are bringing up the next generation of people who will be confident in their future life because they are being given the freedom to follow paths they want which counts a lot in determining their success.
Self-care & choosing your own life
For most of the parents, their individual selves die-off straight when they become parents. They think that sticking to their own hobbies and habits will be undesirable as parents, hence, we mostly find them living with their new “pre-defined” personalities as parents.
But is that really needed?
Today’s experts clearly negate this idea. They consider that choosing your own lives isn’t an act of selfishness when you become parents but it’s rather a marker defining the level of importance you give to your individual personalities along with your children.
Remember, your children are going to learn everything from you. They will be running about trials and conveniences from you. If you as parents are against the view of putting yourself and caring about your needs at the top in addition to the list of the opportunities, you are simply portraying a negative image of parenting in front of yourself.
You need to remember that when you become parents, a new phase of your life starts but your own personality needs care and concern too. So, it is suggested to take some “me-time” amid your parental routine because it will help you a lot in overcoming your stress.
Parenting is becoming a headache for you? You cannot handle enough of the stress? Is impacting your mental capability? So, what to do? Well, there is a fine solution to this as well. You have to end this stress by being with your family. Wondering how this can relieve your stress?
Let’s tell you this. You must have heard the proverb that families who stay together, slay together. This one thing is extremely true because you have to set up a routine of your own so that things don’t go wrong. Now, talking about the routine, let us reveal some important parts of that routine. We know that as parents all you do is to look after your children’s affairs all the time.
It would be more than fascinating if you start thinking of it the other way. Your relationship with your children is more than that of duty. You need to be your children’s friends. Now, what you need to do in order to be friends with your children is that you should set up a healthy routine with the help of your kids which consists of spending time together with them. This routine will help you find out the little issues which later on create panic for parents and will also guide you to sort out the issues of your children on a daily basis by staying by their side.
Don’t be ashamed to accept your mistakes
One common thing I have noticed in many parents is their inability to accept their mistakes. They think that as parents whatever they decide is always best for their children. That is why whenever they become overprotective, they often tend to commit some mistakes.
In their hope of understanding their children, they are mostly the ones suffocating their dreams and justifying it without any guilt because according to them the decision taken by them is final. This is why a barrier comes between children and parents. This kind of attitude creates inner stress within you as well. You start becoming hyper as parents and this also gives rise to many trust issues.
Always remember that you are shaping up your behavior to be liked by your own kids, therefore, you need to accept that as a human being, you can also commit mistakes. The best thing to relieve this burden is to openly accept your mistakes in front of them and try to correct yourselves in the future which not only will help you realize the essence of being a parent but will also reveal a positive side of your personality before the world.
One of the biggest qualities which are lacking in today’s world is gratefulness. There is always some sort of competition going on between individuals which keeps them struggling continuously. Parents have learned a lot from their experiences which they gain throughout their lives.
These experiences, later on, build their perceptions about life. A perception is established where more is needed and demanded from the child. It is not a story of just one family but a tale of many families where parents want more and more to accomplish in a short time. Since every accomplishment calls for a sacrifice too. In this whole process, in this struggle to win against all the odds, the love remains behind.
Yes, you guessed it right. People start forgetting about their duties towards family and this is exactly what parents do. However, from now onwards you need to really think about this matter.
Is happiness really about attaining financial freedom and continuous struggle?
Well, maybe it isn’t because there are a number of unhappy parents and families who are well-to-do but still can’t strengthen their ties with their family members and particularly children because the wall of coldness existing between both is too strong to be broken now. This is why learn to be content with whatever you have. You can’t always get whatever you wish for and that’s a bitter truth so why not be grateful for whatever little or big you have in hand?
Respecting your children’s decisions
One of the biggest issues parents face these days is the difference of opinion between them and their children. So, we are going to sort it out for you guys through a simple imagination game. Now, imagine yourselves as children in your parents’ homes.
You might have done the same a number of times when you wanted to choose some other direction but your parents decided your direction so you had to abide by it later on but you still have minor regrets in your heads about that. Do you want the same life for your children? I don’t think so because imagining such a kind of life feels really terrible because as you feel you haven’t even lived according to your personality, insecurities take birth out of it.
Hence, as sensible parents, you need to realize this basic theory that as your children grow with age, their experiences in life shift which also influences their choices. They might be having newer interests than yours which should always be good news for you because they are not just proving their credibility but also depicting their uniqueness which is very necessary to boost up their confidence. So, give them the wings to soar high because at the end of the day it’s them who really know their true potential.
Happiness is rare because we don’t want to attain it through our efforts. As parents, it seems a distant idea to attain happiness because then most of the parents start forgetting about their own individuality and run after their children’s happiness.
The most important thing is to remember that before everyone else one’s own happiness matters the most. Happy parenting is possible if and only if parents start understanding that the issues upon which they fret a lot and think a hundred times before sorting out are just a part of normal life that can be tackled together with their children as a family.