Motherhood is distorted completely if the mother is nothing but an emotionally absent mother engulfing a child’s emotions.
When we say that parenthood is the biggest gift from the Almighty God, then motherhood always becomes supreme because of the enormous trials through which a mother has to pass through from the beginning of pregnancy to the moment where she holds her baby in her hands.
However, the physical turmoil and test is another tale. Her rank elevates because of the love and warmth she offers to her child till the very death. It is this love that is considered the purest form of love in the world and is considered as nothing but a blessing.
The matter of interest is to find out whether every single mother loves her child this way or not and if not then what are the impacts left on the child because of facing the incomplete love?
KEY POINTS
- An emotionally abusive mother is the one who is not there with her children to cater to their emotional needs.
- There might be various reasons for such behavior coming from a mother’s side including her incapability to love her children and the hatred she has towards her spouse.
- Children start emotionally distancing themselves and hate their mothers who portray such toxic attitudes.
- Depression, anxiety and the idea of suicide is the one which centers around such minds on a daily basis because they feel unwanted and alone amid the crowds. They give lives simply when they believe they are unable to control their inner battle.
Who Is An Emotionally Absent Mother?
An emotionally absent mother is the one who is present physically in a child’s life but when the coin moves on the opposite side and the emotional presence is felt, there we find no trace of her. She is not available to cater to the emotional needs of her child. This is why she is referred to as a mother who is more or less ignorant of the feelings of her child despite being close to her.
This is literally the worst form of torture inflicted upon a young child. It takes the sense of wantedness from a child and the child drowns in the deepest oceans of misery and loneliness. An emotionally absent mother is one who is selfish in many ways.
She doesn’t care about the fragile feelings of the child but considers her own personality more important than the child. This is why she is emotionally distant from her own child.
5 Signs Of An Emotionally Absent Mother
An emotionally absent mother is always:
- Busy
She considers her own life at the top of everything else. To her, it doesn’t matter at all that the child needs her. What matters to her is her own routine which she follows blindly and is never willing to compromise for the well-being of her own biological child even though everyone compels her. Her routine and schedule don’t allow her to focus mostly on the life of her child and then she eventually becomes an emotionally absent mother.
- Angry
Anger is another factor that discriminates her from other mothers. While most of the mothers are always loving toward their children. She is the one who always stays angry at them for no particular reason. She even looks for the smallest possible reason to insult her children as it makes her ego satisfied.
- Complaining
She is always complaining about her kids. She is the one who believes that behind all her ignorance, her own children are deliberately involved because they are not worthy enough of her love. This can be triggered if she finds a flaw in the child’s behavior. Whenever she comes across such a flaw, she exaggerates this and makes the child guilty of her ignorance.
- Negligent
Even when she is not busy by the schedule, she still remains negligent toward the duties which are handed over to her. She doesn’t fulfill her roles most of the time because she feels trapped or unable to do anything for her children. She is the one who doesn’t want to live for the cause of her children but she prefers her own chores over theirs.
- Hateful
Whenever she comes across her children, she doesn’t miss a chance of expressing her extreme abhor towards them. Sometimes she uses cuss words for them or abuses them physically. It happens mostly with mothers who are into a compromised marriage and are not satisfied with their husbands. In these cases, they often blame their husband and don’t consider her children as their own.
Impacts Of Emotionally Absent Mother On Children
When the mother is not there to fulfill the emotional needs or to wipe tears off her children when the world gets hard on young children, they become:
- Lost And Nervous
- Emotionally Numb
- Hateful Towards Mother
- Distant From Family And Friends
- Academically Uncertain
- Depressed And Anxious
- Suicidal And Bitter
The Nervousness
Children who are not taught emotional control are unable to control their emotions in front of everyone. This is why they get nervous immediately whenever they are in a new environment because they believe that they would not be wanted over here just like it happens in the home.
So, they lose their self confidence and don’t even believe that they are even worthy of respect and warmth. So, if anyone shows them affection, they become instantly confused for the sake of reciprocation of the emotions which are new to them.
Emotional Numbness
Because of continuous guilt-schooling and the expressions of hatred that are inflicted upon them, at one point they become emotionally numb. They don’t feel any emotion any longer.
They don’t even search for affection or pain in other individuals because their emotions ultimately die because of the continuous humiliation. They stop expecting anything from anyone around them because they don’t believe that people will offer them exactly what they want.
Hatred Towards Mother
A person who is supposed to love you more than anyone else in the world hates you, it naturally makes an individual angry at first, and later on, it takes the shape of hatred.
Such children do not feel any need for their mother even when they grow up because they believe that their mother doesn’t deserve to be loved and needed. So a counter-ignorance mechanism is used by them. They no longer pay heed to whatever their mother says but break off all the connections with her slowly and gradually.
Emotional And Social Physical Distance
They are deceived by their mother which is an intense mark on their self-respect. So, they don’t want to get hurt once again by anyone else in their lives.
Hence, they start distancing themselves from all their family and friends one by one without even feeling the need to be with them. Such people are not only introverts but are hurtful and shattered. They don’t get closer to anyone else because of the internal fear of solitude and solemnity.
Academic Uncertainty
Their abusive relationship with their mother not only poisons their personal life but also crushes their academic life badly. Such children adopt two different strategies. The first one is the most expected behavior from them.
They become academically weak and no longer focus on their studies because they start hating every part of their life including their very own personality. Another class adopts a different kind of attitude towards emotional absence.
They become extra focused on their academics so that this can help them forget the negligence they feel. However, even these children only think of academics as always to divert themselves, so they are not sure of their path but are simply uncertain and directionless trying to escape from the ghosts of ignorance.
Depressed And Anxiety
Depression and anxiety are the most noticeable mental signs displayed by such children. They don’t remain interested in life but get depressed and anxious about their existence in the world. They are surrounded by dark thoughts mostly and feel trapped in the abusive cage. They often get panic attacks where they are unable to keep themselves calm and become hyper too quickly.
Suicidal Thoughts And Bitterness
This usually happens among teenagers who are left on their own. They believe that they are useless and this is why their mother hates them a lot. This firstly makes them bitter about the world as they start hating every perfect relationship. They do their best to end such relationships because of jealousy.
This outlook on life and the essential relationships makes them distant from all the happiness and they get suicidal. Many of them even self-harm because it makes them relaxed. When they see wounds of self-harm on their body, they feel satisfied that they have done something better for themselves.
Conclusion
An emotionally abusive mother who doesn’t understand the emotional needs of her child needs to understand that parenthood is a marker of love.
She needs to understand that her inability to love her own children not only kills her children mentally but also becomes dangerous for her survival as the child becomes more and more frustrated by years of negligence.
